Clarity Shot #56
It’s a crisp morning, sun dancing through leafy green trees, as I open my laptop on the wooden porch.
Birds chirp cheerfully, unaware of my plans to work 😱😱😱 during my long weekend far away in the Danube Delta.
Something I haven’t done in the past 3 years!
There are 3 things on my to-do list, and many more on my stop-doing list.
You see, I often have two lists, and I check the latter more fervently than the first.
On my To-Do list:
change date for an event already booked, three weeks from now, including reconfirming all the logistics;
check on a video project that requires input from many sources, some not in reach, or on opposite time-zones;
send an email that’s a bit on the sensitive side and requires a careful choice of words…
On my Stop-Do list:
Stop anguishing about my strong reluctance to work while on leave;
Stop trying to control what is outside my control;
Stop catastrophising and blowing things out of proportion;
Stop fantasizing about running away to a parallel reality;
Stop scrolling on social media in search of quick dopamine hits, to manage my anxiety about uncertain results;
Stop comparing to others less fortunate, as a mean to minimise my inner struggle;
Stop comparing to others more fortunate, who don’t need to work while on holidays;
Stop fuming about what I can’t change and start working so I can finish quickly and enjoy the rest of the day;
Stop self-tormenting about the dream holiday I hoped to have and start enjoying the one I actually have (which includes a morning of work, to start with);
Stop over-thinking and rewriting that email over & over again.
Wondering why the fuss? What’s a morning of work in a long weekend?
Well, after my sabbatical, I became keenly aware of how I spend my time, and quite protective of my personal time.
So what’s a minor nuisance to people that are used to respond to emails or work during holidays… for me is a more intense experience, and all my defenses go up. Which is useful when I can negotiate a way out, useless when I need to do what’s required.
Comparing the lists, however, you can see the actual work needed… and how my mind would amplify the struggle, if I let the door open for this possibility.
By observing the inner mayhem, and putting everything on paper, it limits the unnecessary suffering that accompanies (and could overwhelm) the 3 things I needed to do that morning.
So, if you’re also prone to overthinking, catastrophizing or complaining about something unpleasant you need to do… here’s one quick way of containing the struggle into safe boundaries so you can focus on what needs to be done:
🎈 Write down what you need to do. Just the facts.
🎈 Set the timer for 10 mins and write down, on a separate sheet of paper, all your inner dialogue about this.
Everything. Uncensored. On paper. Fast.
Until nothing new comes, and you’re repeating previous thoughts.
🎈 Take 1 min to stretch & move around.
🎈 Look at what you wrote, label, sort and group into categories. Make your Stop-Doing list. Commit to stop doing those things.
🎈 Keep the list close, look at it when your attention runs from what you need to do. Observe where on the list your mind found refuge (if it’s some new place, add it to the list)
🎈 Slowly bring it back to what you need to accomplish.
🎈 Rinse and repeat.
Experiment with the steps above, write your own Stop-Doing list, keep it close, and see what changes for you (…and don’t worry if it takes a bit of trial & error at first).
P.S. And, if you’re looking for a way to add fun, gamify it. Challenge yourself to see how quickly you can do it, when you apply all your focus on what you need to do, and race against the time.