Clarity Shots #55
“You’re so calm…“ he commented, as he was scrolling through click-bait news, while we stopped at a traffic light.
I smiled, realising that, though we’re in the same car, our inner worlds are so far apart.
… You look so relaxed… how can you not worry?
… How can you not stress about this?
… Why are you not annoyed by this?
… Doesn’t it bother you at all, that we don’t know what will happen?
Same question, asked in so many ways. As the saying goes… if I had a nickel each time someone asked me this… I’d be sipping margaritas on a beach where there’s already 5pm now 🍹
Yet, I am here, writing this newsletter, enjoying a life that’s stressful, hectic, full of commitments, events, tasks that eat up all my waking hours.
Yet, there’s also space for calm & a relaxed (sometimes even playful) attitude even when things get uncertain, stressful, and spin out in unforeseen directions.
It wasn’t always like this.
Some years back, I was a rolling ball of anxiety. You could feel my stress just by sitting next to me.
It still happens sometimes, on very few occasions, a reminder of the less-obvious-less-loud-but-so-life-changing shift inside.
So what actually changed?
✨ The things I give my attention to.
✨ The way I incorporate quiet time in my days (sometimes meditation, but more often day-dreaming, watching the clouds, and reading fantasy books)
✨ The confidence to rest my mind on what is already good, instead of worry about what could happen.
So now, when stressful, annoying, irritating things come up… I approach them from a position of being generally contented with my life, and the stress wears out.
It’s still there, but loses its power over me, and I can have a more balanced response 🎈
Sounds like something you’d benefit from?
Here’s how you could start:
Pay attention to what you pay attention to. Find ways to incorporate moments of calm in your days and reduce the sources of stress & the time you spend there (that news feed you keep scrolling, that insta divas that leave you feeling not good enough, those productivity geeks that make you feel your life is just not optimised enough)
Find time for non-doing. Just allow yourself to be there, in your body, while time passes without purpose. Admire a sunset. Watch the birds fly around. Listen to nature sounds and enjoy this time of just being here, on this planet.
Slow down, so you don’t always chase something else. Get a clear view on what the experience of being you, right now, is.
✨ If you like what you discover, take it as an encouragement to do more of it.
✨ If you don’t like what you discover, take it as an important first step in realising what needs to change.
Either way, you win 🎈
So this week’s Clarity Shot asks you to reflect on how much space and opportunity for calm there is, in your life, right now… and deliberately slow down to enjoy that.
If there are only a few seconds, breathe them in, and enjoy them. You can always decide to increase that with a few more. And a few more, after that.
It’s a process, a journey, not an instant switch… and if it’s a process that would add something significant to your life, like a quiet mind, relaxation, equanimity… now you have a few ideas on how to start.